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THINGS I AM AFRAID TO SAY

When I look in the mirror, I see a girl who has been through so much. I see a girl who’s been heartbroken multiple times by boys who don’t give a fuck. I see a girl whose eyes have been crying out due to people who don’t even bother asking her if she’s alright. I see a girl who is in a constant battle with herself and let me tell you, it’s not easy. It’s fucking hard! But when I look in the mirror, I also see a girl who has come out stronger after every heartbreak, after every breakdown. Yes, she has bags under her eyes from endless tears and no sleep. Yes, she is emotionally exhausted and just wants to be held. But she is strong. She’s strong.

But she is not strong enough to let people know what she feels.

I don’t know about you, but it is really hard for me to speak most especially if it’s about my feelings. It is hard for me to wear my heart on my sleeve because I feel like my feelings are irrelevant. I am not like those people who say what’s on their mind. I actually think before I speak, I think how it might affect the person. I don’t like putting my problems on other people. Yes, I want to talk to someone about them. I really REALLY do. But at the same time, I don’t want to burden them. You can say I am selfless because even though I’m about to break, and I want someone to tell my problems too, I think about them first. So I don’t speak. I keep quiet.

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