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Why am I only surviving when I perfectly know what ‘living’ means?

The fact is, I perfectly know there’s nothing wrong with me.

I see myself fat but I still realize my weight is just fine.
I see myself ugly yet I recognize the beauty of my being unique.
I see myself as a failure yet I know I’ve achieved many things in my life.
I see myself as a loner yet I’m hardly ever alone.

The fact is, I perfectly know there’s nothing wrong with me.

I know I can write well. I know I have a particular voice when I sing. I know I’m good at listening to people. I know I’m a good talker. I know I’m strong.

The fact is, I perfectly know there’s nothing wrong with me.

I learnt to swim by myself when people considered me too old to do it.
I learnt how to stand for myself after years of mocking from my classmates.
I learnt how to deal with my mental issues.
I learnt that there’s noting wrong with asking for a help.

The fact is, I perfectly know there’s nothing wrong with me.

So why do I feel like the world is falling down every time I open my eyes in the morning? Why does my head feel like exploding from the abnormal amount of thoughts in it? Why do I feel like I worth nothing?

Why am I only surviving when I perfectly know what ‘living’ means?

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