You need to trust me, okay? I know it’s scary to fall in love. I am so fuckin’ terrified. But I want it. I want the late night texts and whispers on the phone. I want the 8am grumpy voice because you haven’t had your coffee yet. I want those cute, random “I love you” texts. I want you to be the first guy I’ll introduce to my parents and they will adore you as much as I do. I want you to agree with them on stupid topics I always disagree on. I want you to hate spaghetti even though I will eat it for any meal because it is my favorite. I want long car drives with you singing your favorite songs way off key. We can stay up all night talking about the deepest parts of our lives. We can eat pizza and listen to real friends and cuddle all the time and go on adventures. We can also go to New York City and go on the train and go to a cute small venue and we can both crowd surf together. We can also go on cute dates and long board through the city streets just us, happy, smiling. I’ll always text you a cute good morning message. I want random, deep talks that come from conversations about bacon or puppies. I want to rub that vapor stuff on your chest when you are sick. I want you to know sometimes I’ll tell you to leave, but please don’t. I want to fall in love with you as much as you fall in love with me. I want this to be real. I want us to be real. I want to take care of your heart and make you realize what a wonderful person you truly are. I want you to understand I know you are not perfect and I will love you as if you are. And I will love all of you. Every aspect of you. Your 3am thoughts, laugh, morning hair, annoying quirks, weird sense of humor, late night wishes, past experiences, tired eyes, everything. Just love all of me too.
I don’t want you to be like those guy characters I read in my favorite books. It irks me to think that there will be a lot of girls that will swoon over you. You don’t need to be the hot and courageous Jace Wayland or the subtle-romantic-type of guy like Augustus Waters or Sam Moone who is protective and really good in chess or someone like Noah Calhoun who shows his love with so much passion. I just want you to be who you are. No matter how many flaws you have. No matter how many insecurities you have. No matter what your past is. The little secrets. The bits and pieces of your personality. Your mannerisms. Your little quirks. You will be the perfect male protagonist in our story and all you have to do is be who you are and for you to love me and accept me for what I am too and not die on me.
I want you to understand that I am scared, too. I want to invest my feelings, time and efforts on you. I want you to understand I will still give you my absolute all and all I ask in return is for you to do the same or tell me you don’t feel the same. I know I am risking a lot, but I hope you are willing to risk a lot too because falling in love again will be another great adventure.
Your future girlfriend